The Top 15 Most Attractive Male Hobbies To Women Has Been Released
And in other news, I've begun to read a lot and learn a foreign language while cooking and playing instruments.
I am writing this from Kona Coffee Roasters on 2nd Ave and 3rd St. The lid on my cold brew was causing an issue and I spilled some “droplets” onto my corduroy pants. 5.1/10 cold brew.
I’m going to let you all digest this chart before I get into my analysis. And before I do that, let me just say I’m a little concerned about the integrity of this data knowing that “shooting hoops” isn’t on here. With that being said, I will trust that this was a fair and accurate survey.
Reading at #1?
Alright so I can understand reading being number 1 in the right context. For example, if a guy generally reads books, that’s dope. If a guy is going to the busiest park in your city and posting up at a bench reading “48 Laws of Power”, that is NOT the same. And I know that guy. That guy is me. I have read at a park before, and I know exactly what I’m doing. Couldn’t tell you one thing from the book I was reading, was too busy trying to catch if anyone was watching me read.
Reading in public is objectively a performative activity. And listen, game respects game, but you can’t tell me any female is seeing that guy and thinking it’s not a charade.
Again, I could see a woman wanting their mans to be well-read, but let’s cool it on the public reading, Shakespeare.
This List Lost Me At Astronomy
This is purely based on personal experience. I recently looked through a telescope for the first time in my life. I’m not kidding. Two weeks ago I saw this guy posted up on a street corner with his telescope pointed at the moon. I asked if I could look through it. He obliged. It was dope. However, this guy also happened to be a million years old and creepy looking. That’s not me trashing this guy, that’s just what it was. Nicest guy ever, but he was kinda creepy looking.
With that said, I didn’t see the ladies lining up to look through Ned’s telescope. In fact, it was really just a bunch of dudes and little kids all hanging out. It was honestly dope. I wonder if he’s posting up again soon.
Hiking, Archery, and Blacksmithing
I mean, if this survey was taken during The Middle Ages, I would believe this. Being a hiker/archerer/blacksmither in The Gilden Age feels like a no-brainer. But in 2024? Yeah right. How do you even go about Blacksmithing today? It’s not like I can go sign up for a blacksmithing class like my friend Molly can sign up for an “art” class, right?
Can you imagine if I had a homemade sword and/or shield though? “Oh yeah, made that in blacksmithing class last week. My instructor Sir Willingham said I’ve shown crazy improvement. We might level me up to making my gauntlets for my armor set next week.”
Girls when they see the life-sized medieval armor set I made in blacksmithing class:
Did you all see that Writing is on this list? It says it right there. It says that 93.8% of women find writing attractive? That means that 93.8/100 women would find what I’m doing right now attractive.
Listen, I know some people might try to invalidate the results of this list. They may say, “hey, there’s not a chance in hell women would find something as ambiguous as ‘traveling’ to be attractive.” To those people I say Shame on You. Who are you to poke holes in these survey results? How dare you talk down on the hard work of the fine people behind this data.
This list is as trustworthy as it gets. I mean the numbers are right there. And you know how I know it’s real? They go to the tenth decimal on the percentages. If this was fake, would they really be able to do that? Don’t think so.
That’s why it is important that we share not only this ranking of attractive hobbies (which includes writing), but we need to spread awareness around the people who DO the hobbies on this list. For example, if you were to know someone who wrote a blog, you would want to share that to signal to the world “I know I personally don’t write, but Jack writes, and I read his writing, which is actually the most attractive thing you can do, per sources.”
So with that said, I am glad we can all agree that this is a true and fair representation of the most attractive male hobbies, according to women. This is what it’s all about. Unity. Thanks everybody for coming together for this one. That was fun.
- Jack
P.S. if you enjoyed this and want to buy me a coffee so I can maintain proper caffeination while not having a steady paycheck, send a few bucks to my Venmo. Cheers!